What kinds of families get
help from
UsMoms Community
Projects
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What Kind of Families get Help from UsMoms Community Projects?
We know that many people believe that only people on welfare join UsMoms Free
Food Program. We also know that many people believe that people on welfare are
simply lazy people who choose to live in poverty because they won’t work for a living
like other tax payers do.
We don’t know what the percentage of the overall numbers of people is across the city,
which are on welfare that would fit this description. We don’t know if this is true about
any significant numbers of people who are not single parents, yet they get welfare. We
read and hear various statistics, but we do not know how valid and /or up to date the
data really is. We don’t know how much of the news stories that quote such statistics
are biased either way and/or totally prejudiced.
We do know that it is rarely the truth about the single parents who are enrolled with
UsMoms for getting free food and self-reliance training. The few whom we thought this
could apply to, have not stayed with UsMoms. We believe it is because we have such a
strong message about expecting every parent who gets food or help from UsMoms to
work towards becoming self-reliant or contribute by volunteering. A majority of our
parents volunteer or help with the programs in some capacity, or help the other parents
who are getting their self-reliance training.
UsMoms’ roster is made up of single fathers, single mothers, aunts, uncles and
grandparents that are the primary guardians and caregivers for children aged 0-19. A
few parents are the primary caregiver for other categories of dependents. Some of the
parents are on welfare. Some are on disability or other pensions. Some parents are
working or going to school and do not have money for food after the pay for rent and
childcare. The fastest growing population in need of help are the "working poor"
families where two incomes cannot support both housing and food costs.
A significant number of our parents are in “transition” which means the parent (and
often the children) has been victimized by an abusive spousal partner. These transition
families have had to leave everything and everyone they know behind to seek safety
and protection from a violently dangerous spousal partner. These families are in hiding
because the police and/or courts and/or other authorities believe the threat of potential
harm is enough to warrant these families being protected.
This means the parent has had to leave their home and their job or career. The children
have been taken out of their schools, neighbourhoods and communities. For most of
these parents and children they have had to disconnect from every person they have
known and loved before they had to go into hiding. This includes grandparents and
other family, friends, (especially best friends) and anyone else that the victimizer could
use to track down the family in transition.
With the advancement of today’s technology, it is even harder for these families to
remain hidden. Computers are everywhere keeping records of some kind that can
easily be accessed or hacked into. We know families who can’t risk shopping in any
store that has security cameras or surveillance cameras of any kind. The children
cannot go to any school that insists on getting the records from the children’s previous
school. The parents can’t use banks, bank cards, credit cards, membership cards,
retailer cards, etc. The parents and children have to assume or acquire new names.
The family can only use disposable cell phones. The families have to avoid traffic areas
that maintain cameras for traffic reports or other uses. This is only a sample of the
places that have on-line surveillance or record keeping that can be acquired by anyone
with either enough money or enough skill.
UsMoms works with these parents and their children to ease their trauma and their
losses. We provide everything we can from toothbrushes to toys to furniture to clothing.
We do our best to make sure the families have everything they need to make their life
safer and more secure. We work with these parents to end the cycle of familial abuse.
We provide the food every week in such a way as to not require the parents to risk
being seen or found. We work with the children in ways to where the children learn they
are cared for and safe when they are with anyone from UsMoms. We help the parents
to become self-reliant enough that poverty will not drive them back to the abusive
spousal partner or into another abusive situation.
We have single dads who have opted to be the main caregiver rather than have their
child or children enter the foster care system if the mother is not an option. We have
single dads with large families who are refugees from countries where the mother has
disappeared, been killed or imprisoned. We have single dads who have left their jobs to
be stay at home parents when the mother has abandoned the family.
It is much harder for the single dads to get the help and support they need because of
our society’s perception of men who do not work. Undereducated men or men without
a trade have a difficult time getting a job that can pay for childcare plus rent and food.
Yet, the good news is that the courts are awarding custodial care to more fathers as
an alternative to automatically putting children into the foster care system when the
mother is not available to care for the children. UsMoms works with these fathers in the
same way we do with the mothers. The goal is two-fold. One teach effective parenting
skills and two help these fathers to find meaningful employment or training that will pay
for the costs of being a single parent.
As you can see, almost all of the personal stories of the families that get help from
UsMoms are not the typical story of a lazy person who won’t work. A small percentage
of our families are from multi-generational histories where parents and grandparents
were on welfare. This type of history means it is likely that there are more
developmental issues because of chronic undernourishment and lack of enough food.
But, while it may take longer to reverse the effects of this history, it is possible to do it.
We have found these parents have to first learn that their parents did not know how to
teach them to be self-reliant because they had not been taught how to either. We focus
the parents of these families on making sure their children are not the next generation
on welfare. This approach has been very effective.
Once these parents learn the role of nutrition in determining the capacity for the
parents and the children to reach their greatest potential, we see dramatic changes in
the parent’s belief systems. The parents are very receptive to being taught proper
nutrition, food preparation, storage and preservation.
Once these children are fed consistently for a few months, the children’s behaviour
improves, their attitude improves, and their coping capacity increases dramatically.
Once the parents become fed well enough they learn they are also better parents
because their body is able to cope with more stress. This experience paves the way
for the parents to believe that it is possible for their children to make it all the way out
of poverty.
Food security becomes the important focus that has the greatest impact on the children’
s capacity to learn what they are taught in school today and elsewhere. The parents
become very dedicated to ensuring their children attend the Homegrown Heroes. It is
very encouraging to see how responsive and responsible the parents become once
they learn that UsMoms will help them get enough food and training into their household
to make it possible for their children to learn and grow up to become healthy
contributing adults. Most of these parents build their self-reliance plans around getting
their children out of the cycles of their history first, which we heartily agree with.
UsMoms Community Projects
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